Feminism… Meh… Take one, becasue I’m too lazy to wirte a full blown rant

Derp derp derpy derp

Did you know that back in 2014 there was this rather hideous trend taking place among the liberated females of the west? The trend was frighteningly called ‘Free-bleeding’ and it meant just that: women should opt out of using feminin hygien products, namely pads, tampons, diva cups and such and just let their (our, as contreray to IGN and popular belief I’m a female myself) BLOOD flow freely out of their vaginas. So where do our monthly bodily dischagres go? Well, everywhere!

‘Why?’ is indeed a very valid question. According to a fascinating article I read in a website aptly named Modern woman digest by one Adora Bull which you can read about right here the trend has two main pursposes and both, of course, come to advocate for women’s rights. The first point is that women should not be ashamed of the fluids expelled from their bodies, and in all honesty why should they? The average woman has to go throught some much bullshit just because she was born into a certain gender it’s beyond exhausting: the cramps, hot flashes, mood swings, weight gain, constipation, hair-loss, the munchies.. And don’t get me started on being pregnant.

So in a way I totally get it: woman deserve the right to excetue some vengance. And by vengeance I mean letting their blood flow everywhere, on everything and on everyone. Mwahahahah

The second reason was a bit over my head, so excuse me if I sound daft and incompetent. Now, the secod reason for women to opt for the so called Free-bleeding  (free the blood, you get it? Haha…) is because the tampon, along with the sanitery pad was invented by a MAN!

How horrible! Now, I actaully did a research on this and turns out it’s somewhat partially true because sanetray pads and early day tampons were used by women for centuries. CENTURIES. I find it very hard to believe that back than some sheep hearding dude, or a hunter-gatherer spent his time figuring out how to plug his GFs vagina when her friend came for the usual monthely visit.

Can you imagine this guy doing it?

“Honey, do you prefer tree bark or wool?”

No? That’s okay, me neither.

The truth is that women had to figure out a way for themselves to deal with their bloody discharge, as men were too busy doing other things, probably like this:

Thus females had to use their ‘feeble minds’ and find a way to deal with it; their period not the bear killing that is. LOLZ

Because I’m a semi-diligant person I did some research before I decided to spew some useless information and overflow your brain with an, dare I say it, anti-feminist rant. The modern day tampon was indeed invented (originally) by a man – one Dr. Earle Hass (you can read all about him on Wikipedia), however, the patnent was bought by a woman and later on brought to perfection with the help of a woman: a gynicologist by the name of Judith Esser-Mittag, that Dr. for you, you MF! Yes, there are female doctors, you schmuck.

To make matters worse, those ill-informed feminists further their idiotic claim by saying that the feminin hygine products are ment to unintentionally rape women during their period since they are man-made. All men care about is sex and rape, so everytime you use a tampon you let some random dude’s peepee into your lady parts without your consent! Wait, what..?

Truth be told I never thought about it that way… Hmmm…

Okay, so in all honesty I do sort of get where all these women come from. I’ll try to spare you the  Women’s studies 101 lecture, but if we’re going there (and this is a rant, you fuck, so it’s inevitable) a crash course in history is heading your mysogenist way! Women were, since the dawn of time, objectified, degraded, abused, persecuted, and etc… We’ve been fightening for our rights for centuries and let me tell you – the struggle was very real.

In truth women are just like this little fat guy going after the unreachable: we live in a patriachic society, always have and always will. It’s not a conspiracy, it’s our DNA. So if you wanna blame someone turn to Darwin, or God, take your pick. In truth most women (and I’m not gonna get into the whole LGBT thing because frankly I simply don’t want to) no matter how sucsessful, pretty, rich, and well educated all want ONE thing at the end of the day: they all want to settle down with some nice guy and pop a few. It’s hard-wiered into us, so there’s hardly an escape from our genetics, and again blame it on whatever you want.

At this point you might be scretching your head and wondering what the derp am I talking about and what does this has to do with the no tampon movement. Bare with me, please…

Random butt gif to get your attention…

The epitome of modern female femininity reached a peak in the 1950s and early 60s

(Curtisy of Mad Men)

Women back then were ALWAYS groomed, proper, and presentable. Simply put they knew their place, and purpose.

If you want to enlighten yourself more on the topic read Revolutionary road and The Stepford Wives. Who am I kidding, no one reads anymore anyway. Haha… At any rate you see my point without having to crack a book. If you prefer to watch a live action adaptation then perhaps you should turn to The Honeymooners, the infamous 50s sitcome capturing perfectly the relatioship dynamics of the working class couple in the 50s.

The sweet times when domestic violence was socially acceptable, oh the bliss…

Women were supposed to endure: slap some conclear on it and keep calm and carry on, with a smile and a nice dress, no less.

So how does it all tie in? I blame it partially on the bored housewives. Yes, women were advocating for rights since the 18th century, but the shit really hit the fan in the mid 1900s. Allow me to expalin (I promise I’ll make it as painless as possible): imagine yourself a pretty attractive girl with a nice body and head full of shiny hair. You might have gone to college or a secretary school and even landed a job… But at the end of the day all you really wanted was to get married, and not because society (I really hate it when people use that dreaded word for an argument) told you to, but because that was what you really truely wanted. NO SHIT! Eventaully you got your wish, and when you got pergant it was a whole nother ball game: Goodbye life, hello your own personal hell.

How many shirts can you iron before going mental? How much does preparing pot-roast for dinner fill in the emotinal gap slowly widening in the deepest darkest corners of your mind? How many magazines can you read before you want to strangle your husband? What about your kids? How much snot and shit can you whipe before going full-blown psycho on them? Being a housewife and nothing else was by far from fulfilling, it was maddening.

And at some point you were bound to snap: it was inavidable just like Lady Gaga loosing her relevance. Don’t believe me? Subject yourself to such life style and see if you can come out of it unharmed. I dare you. The contraversy about the whole thing is who do you blame exactly: the women who just wanted to enjoy a comfortable and hassle-free life without taking into account that that there is no such thing as free-launches, or men, who wanted to keep us under their thumb on top of eliminating competition in the work-force? The answer will, of course, depend on who you ask. Now, don’t get me wrong; it’s not as if I’m swipping centuries of discrimination under the rug, that’s not at all what I’m doing. We’re all aware – more or less – of the pains women had to endure throughout history in order to achieve some sort of an equal rites status.

I, for one, being a female and all am happy that I can attend a university and study whatever my mental and financial capacity allows me, greatful that I can vote, and so on and so forth. So women began to feel stifilled, which is sort of understandable, and they wanted equality. Equality in terms of pay and oppertunities and such… Which is awesome really, but at some point it just got too far: enter the Free-Bleeding movement, which luckily enough didn’t catch on.

Awesome, right? Nope… Not really. Feminism and ‘rape’ aside have you got any idea how hard it is to clean blood out of your clothes? Let me tell you, it’s fucking hard! Everytime you’ll come to class or work, or sit down in the bus you’ll leave a bloddy stain behind you. Now ain’t that something? I wouldn’t like to sit on that… No way… Public transport is gross enough as it is. It could be a hoax… Hopefully

You know what, I get it, women don’t want to be portrayed as helpless, weak, and feeble minded creaturers any more, and I’m not saying that males didn’t abuse their power for decades, because they sure did, and it is now that women find the voice and strength to express themselves, alas, there is also something paradoxical about the whole thing.

Take a look at exibhit a:

Curtesy of model agnecy Instagram.

And in the left corner we have this:

Okay, okay, so I chose two hot babes to stress my point, sorry… But, hopefully you’ll see what I mean. Both of these women are, essentially, femininst: big boobs is using her body to get the mulah while Hermione Granger graduated from Brown.

Believe it or not but it’s two sides of the same coin. The simple truth is that the feminist camp has divided itself since people can never really agree on anything.

Is using what mama gave you a good or a bad thing, because at the end of the day we all gotta make a living…

In a way this IS feminism because now you can shake your ass and assume that no one will harass you (actaully they still will, but the excuse of ‘she was asking for it’ won’t fly anymore).

This is a girl and her name is Amber from the Korean all-girl band F(X).

You won’t believe (actaully you just might) the amount of criticism Amber gets from her fellow females regarding the way she looks:

1) Are you gay?

2) What’s wrong with you?

3) Are you a boy or a girl?

4) Why do you dress like a guy?

For the record she’s not gay… But it just comes to shows how narrow minded people still are, and even in the music videos she gets very little air time comapred to the other band members because she doesn’t fit the definition of what a female should look like.

You can either be a BASIC BITCH

Or a BAD BITCH

But no matter what you choose you have to be pretty, and you know what’s the worst part about it all? The fact the it’s us women who dictate that shit… If you are somewhere in between you’re a goner… CL will make sure of that with her trusted shaving knife (see image above).

Why do we do this to ourselves, huh? WHY? Is it becuse we want affirmation? Acceptance? Attention?

Feminism has created more problems than solutions, at least in my opinion: the wages are still not equal, females are still pinning, we females judge each other even more than before based on appearance, actions, and subculture affiliations. Posting semi-naked photos on Snapchat and Facebook is totally fine because we are liberated, and if any asshole make a sexist comment we call him a creep, because, hey, I posted my boobs for the world to see becuase I’m a hot, independant, and liberated woman… So yeah!

Are we selling ourselves short, or am I having a bitch fit right now? I can’t even blame men for staring at all these photos… If I were I guy I’d probably do the exact same thing.

Men are not complicated creatures as through the ages pretty much all of them wanted the same thing when it came to women: pretty, smart but not too smart, a decent housekeeper, and a good cook.

What do women want? Hell if I know…

I don’t hate men: I hate both sexes equally

Maybe, if I’m not too lazy, I’ll write a sequel